She came here after a nasty divorce, after losing the job she loved, after the murky swamp of the job she hated and a total and utter change of all of her life paradigm, complete with lack of money.
Deception, humiliation and the burning desire to crawl under the covers and have everything return to the way it used to be, the eyes she used to love, and now couldn’t stand – all of it tangled into one rough disgusting blob stuck in her throat, not even letting her draw a breath.
Her departure was just like diving into dark unfamiliar waters – if I drown so be it, it couldn’t get any worse anyway, I just must get away from all that, as far as possible.
And suddenly, still in the airport, after a dry, bitter farewell, watching her enormous bags glide away, she suddenly felt how this wooly itchy hairball dissolves, to be replaced by a desperate hope and lightness.
She almost danced into the plain, and her stomach was filled with butterflies – yes, the same ones!
She flew just like people fly home to their mom after a long, exhausting illness – to eat well, sleep well and not worry about a thing.
Suddenly she felt the iron trap of her permanent debt to someone shut close, and realized she was free. Completely, totally free.
And nothing bothered or worried her anymore.
Not the long wait for the paperwork, not the taxi that wasn’t there, not the weekend, because of which all the registry process was postponed to God-knows-when.
And staring out of a taxi window at the beautiful green valley, she was smiling and whispering to herself: here it is, the Promised Land, I returned, I’m here…
And everything was getting done, everything was getting sorted out, leat-leat*, slowly, without any rush. Savlanut**, she was telling herself while falling asleep, savlanut, patience; I don’t have to hurry anymore. And she felt like someone was stroking her head…and whispering, everything is going to be fine, honey, now everything is going to fine.
Translated by Diana Shnaiderman-Pereira
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*Leat-leat – slowly, without a hurry ** Savlanut - patience