Life is a casino, Tomer preached munching on potato chips.
It favors those who know how to play the game and aren’t afraid of anything. Like me, for example…
Go to hell, Hodaya thought helplessly, crawling under the counter with a rag, trying not to bang her head. Stupid show-off with his casino. I might be scrubbing your dirty flours today, but tomorrow you may be cleaning my swimming pool, and I will lie in a sun lounger and say all sorts of bullshit. She giggled, and of course, hit her head right away.
And I will make you clean that pool three times in a row, she thought vengefully, rubbing a new bump on top of her head.
She was lumbering home, tightening the straps of her backpack on her sore back in order to somehow keep herself from moaning and walk upright. The damned back was prickled with shooting pain, her knees hurt, her hands were itchy from the dirty water, and her pride was boiling in outrage – is that why you graduated from two universities and almost got a doctorate? Is that why you were burning the midnight oil, scoring better than anybody on those God damned finals, so you could crawl now like a squashed frog? To listen all day to some crap from a stupid man that pays you pennies?
The common sense answered the pride – but those pennies help you pay the rent. And shut your beloved tormentor’s mouth, sarcasm added from a dark corner. Of course, common sense agreed, and help maintain peace in the family. Pride was rolling its eyes and waving it off. There is no point in arguing with someone who is madly in love, “Thou blind fool, Love, what dost thou to mine eyes” – everybody knows that…
She was really new to Israel, didn’t speak Hebrew, the welfare wasn’t enough, the path has been beaten by generations of immigrants – and she became a night cleaning lady in a small coffee shop, clenching her teeth and swallowing her pride.
Never mind, she comforted herself, I will learn Hebrew, find an excellent job, and I’ll keep moving science forward.
Come on now, it wasn’t all in vain – two universities, the unfinished doctorate…I’ll survive.
And also, she loved Israel.
From the first minute, the first breath – she remembered this unusual air, humid and spicy, in the airport parking lot – she fell in love with this land and this sky. She felt with every cell of her not-so-young body that she came home. At last. And she even picked her name so she could always remember this sense of rapturous gratitude to fate. Hodaya means gratitude.
And yes, she was madly in love.
Even now in the mornings she would first open one eye and check – maybe she dreamed up this last year, is he really sleeping next to her with his face tucked in her shoulder, sniffing like a puppy…
She knew it was impossible, unrealistic, it wasn’t supposed to happen, because miracles don’t happen to girls who aren’t very young, or very beautiful, but are very smart.
But it happened to her.
When he came to her hotel room at that convention, smiled with his care-free smile that she dreamed about every night, and said: please, don’t laugh, but I can’t live without you.
And yes, he wasn’t the most comfortable husband – crappy personality, the sarcasm offered helpfully from its dark corner, cranky and touchy – but he was her husband. Only hers. For a whole year and two months. And she never stopped being amazed by her happiness.
Hodaya means gratitude, and every single morning, opening one eye, she praised the heavens.
And who cares about her broken back and wounded pride, if she could see every morning the raggedy back of his head, warm and dear.
And today she plodded home in joyful anticipation, it was her birthday and she tried to guess, what did he buy her as a gift? Flowers? Books? He surely doesn’t have money for jewelry. A cake? Oh, never mind, the main point is that HE is buying HER a gift, who would have ever thought…
He gave her a cactus.
A huge fat round cactus in a huge fat round pot.
“A cactus wards off mean people and nasty guests”, – He said, smiling timidly. “And since you mingle with people all the time, it will protect you”.
“God, I love you so much” – She sniffled.
“And I hate cacti so much”, – Sarcasm added from its dark corner.
Pride scratched its head and suggested – “Let’s seat your boss on this stupid cactus right with his stupid fat ass! At least some use from this stupid gift.
And common sense kept quiet for a while and firmly concluded: “A cactus – that’s great. Where did he find it, huh?”
The important thing is – that he searched, he tried, he remembered.
“So everything’s fine?” – Hodaya asked herself.
And love replied – “Everything is fine, my dear, everything is just outstanding!”
Translated by Diana Shnaiderman-Pereira